


Going for the Goal(ie)

by ohheykat



Category: The Prom - Sklar/Beguelin/Martin
Genre: F/F, Soccer AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-05-01 19:57:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19184569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohheykat/pseuds/ohheykat
Summary: Alyssa Greene is her school's best forward and almost a hundred percent sure she'll be the captain of the soccer team this year. She knows that Edgewater has the potential to make it to the state tournament this year, and she finds herself so excited that she can hardly contain it. She thought she had a perfect plan for the year, but then the mysterious new girl shows up to try out as a goalkeeper, and her life will never be the same.





	1. Chapter 1

“Ladies, how are we feeling today?” Coach Glickman was adamant about getting the first tryout of the year started.

“So ready,” Alyssa, the senior who was a shoo-in for a captain, grins at him as she laces up her cleats. “How are you today Coach?”

“I’m good Ms. Suck-Up,” she laughs as he uses her nickname. “Where are the other two musketeers?”

“Right here!” Shelby pops up from the side of the bleachers, bag over her shoulder as Kaylee follows behind her. “Where are your friends?”

“I don’t have friends, I have coworkers,” he rolls his eyes.

“Uh-huh,” Kaylee takes out her cleats. “So, which one of the poor juniors are you sticking in goal today? We have to have a replacement for Hope.”

“Our team is never going to be the same,” Shelby sighs dramatically, standing up finally. “What’s our warmup today?”

“You’ll see,” their coach grins mischievously, just as another girl comes climbing up the bleachers.

She has blond curls that fall just past her ears, with glasses framing her face. Alyssa recognizes her from her biology class, but she also knew that she was new. She had been a transfer student from the private school on the other side of town, which was pretty rare. That’s why she had caught her eye.

“Am I in the right place?” she questions, holding up her cleats.

“Yup!” Coach Glickman smiles at her, reaching out his hand for her to shake. “I’m Barry, but you can call me Coach Glickman. I don’t think I’ve seen you here before.”

“I’m new,” she admits. “But I’m not new to soccer. I’ve been playing since I was four.”

“Well, that experience will come in handy. What position are you trying out for?”

“Goalkeeper,” she holds up her gloves.

“Oh good! Our goalie coach will love you, she’s always excited about getting new players.”

Emma nods, beginning to put her cleats on as well. Soon enough the rest of the kids trying out are there, as well as the other three coaches. They put the girls through a simple warm-up, a half-mile jog, and some stretching. Alyssa falls in line with Emma, but neither of them says anything. They sprint at the end of it, trying to show that they’re willing to work for this. 

Eventually, the girls are split into four different groups. Alyssa goes with Barry and the rest of the forwards, but he’s mostly using her as an example. He already knows she’ll make the team. The midfielders hang out with Coach Oliver, who begins to work on their ball handling. Kaylee goes with them, also mostly as an example. Coach Allen takes Shelby and the defenders, working on clearing it and strong kicks. Finally, Coach Dickenson took the goalkeepers, which were only Emma and one other girl. 

“Well, looks like you two are shoe-ins,” she jokes, grabbing a couple of balls. “Let me guess, a freshman and a senior?”

Both girls nod, and soon the coach has them running through drills like they had been doing it their entire lives. Eventually, the groups pair off. The midfielders and the defenders get together to work on clearing and sending the ball, while the forwards come over to the goalkeepers to work on shots. “Alright ladies, we’re going to do my favorite drill of all time,” Barry grins, and Alyssa groans internally. “This is called the ‘X’ drill. I want you guys to split into four lines, two at the goalposts and two at the top of the box.”

The girls get into their four lines, and Angie puts Emma on the goal line. “Alyssa, why don’t you and Kate show us how it’s done?” Barry calls, before blowing his whistle.

The drill is in full swing almost immediately. The girls on the posts pass into the girls in the line diagonal from them, who then take a touch and shoot. Alyssa’s first soars in without a problem, she doesn’t even have to take a touch to settle it like the rest of the girls. Emma watches it whiz past her head, barely having time to raise her arms before it hits the back of the net. Alyssa smirks as she watches it, grinning to herself as she gets into the back of the next line.

She watches as Emma struggles to get her hands on any of the balls that the girls shoot without a touch, mostly coming from seniors who had done this drill a thousand times before. One shot in particular rolls right past her, if she had just shuffled before her dive she would’ve had it. “C’mon Emma,” she says, because now she’s getting frustrated. “You have to get those!”

Emma turns her head to glare at her, just as another ball soars past her head. Alyssa rolls her eyes, just as she gets to the front to pass. The rest of the drill runs rather smoothly, and Emma manages to get the hang of it after a few more shots. By the end of it, Barry and Angie are both praising her for her shots, and Emma can’t stop grinning.

“Okay ladies,” Barry brings everyone together at the other end of the field. “Now that we’ve done some footwork, I want to work on the other key component in soccer: the conditioning.”

A few groans are heard and Barry can’t help but laugh. “Girls, if you think the tryout conditioning is hard, you are not prepared for the actual running we do every day at practice. I thought today we could make it a little fun!”

They look a little less worried, and he tells them that they’ll be racing each other until they’ve found the fastest person on the team. Some of the freshman chicken out, figuring that the sooner they lose, the less running they’ll have to do. Little do they know that Dee Dee, who was normally in charge of conditioning, was timing all of their races and writing it down, and it would factor into their chances of making the team.

Emma surprises herself by making it to the final four, with three other seniors: Alyssa, Shelby, and Kaylee. Barry pairs her off with Kaylee while telling Shelby and Alyssa to wait until they finished. Kaylee smirks as Emma walks up to the line with her, tilting her head to one side. “A goalie huh? Midfielders have to have legs you know, so you might wanna sit this one out.”

“Yeah, okay,” Emma rolls her eyes, getting into her stance on the line.

Coach Glickman blows his whistle, and the two of them take off running towards the top of the box. Kaylee’s ahead until they turn around when Emma gets a burst of energy. She beats her back to the start line, grinning as she runs through. “Kick her ass,” Kaylee whispers as she passes in between Shelby and Alyssa, who were setting up for their own race.

Both girls nod, and Barry blows the whistle again. Alyssa ends up winning the race, so Shelby sits next to Kaylee on the grass. “Alright!” Barry announces. “We are officially down to our last two! Emma, Alyssa, are you two ready?”

Emma and Alyssa nod, getting ready on the line. He blows his whistle, and they take off. Everything is close until the very end when Alyssa slips on the muddy field and goes crashing onto the ground. Emma runs through the line but immediately turns back around. She holds her hand out to Alyssa, who simply rolls her eyes and gets up on her own, walking back to sit in the grass with Shelby and Kaylee.

Emma shrugs it off, but Barry takes notice of it immediately. He has the girls break it down before they leave, but he grabs both Emma and Alyssa’s arms before they can get back to the bleachers. “So, who wants to tell me why you,” he looks towards Alyssa, “are being a bitch to our new goalkeeper?”

“I’m not,” Alyssa rolls her eyes. “And you know you aren’t supposed to talk like that Coach Glickman.”

“What? Are you going to tell your mother?”

Alyssa looks at the ground, rubbing her cleat against the dirt. “No.” Her mother would take away soccer, and it was the only good thing she had left honestly. 

“That’s what I thought. Now, I want the two of you to stay for a little while longer. You both drive, right?” They both nod, so he hands them the bag of soccer balls. “Perfect. You’ve got half an hour before I have to leave for the day, so why don’t you work on shots and saves?”

Alyssa rolls her eyes. “Are you serious?” 

“Do you want to be on the varsity team this year or not?”

Eyes widening, Alyssa grabs the bag. Emma follows her silently out to one of the goals, where she begins setting up a PK. “You ever tried to block one of these?”

“I’ve been goalkeeping for ten years, what do you think?”

“Ooh, baby Emma’s got a bite.”

Emma rolls her eyes, setting her heels on the goal line. She watches Alyssa’s hips before picking a side, then dives to grab the ball. She knocks it away, making it look easy. Alyssa moves her ball to the corner of the box, trying to use her left foot. Emma blocks it but pauses as she stands back up. “You aren’t swinging through.”

“Huh?”

“You aren’t swinging through. You do it well on your right foot, but you stop when you use your left.”

She rolls the ball back to Alyssa, who concentrates as she shoots again, this time swinging her leg all the way through. It soars until it hits the back of the net, and Emma grins at her, despite the fact that she couldn’t save it. “There you go!”

Alyssa can’t help but smile back, before grabbing another ball to shoot. Emma saves that one, knocking it over the crossbar with ease. “You know, you aren’t half bad at this,” Alyssa teases. 

“Thanks, ten years of goalkeeper training will do that,” Emma rolls her eyes. “That, and it’s a lot easier when the team’s best forward isn’t screaming at you.”

The brunette blushes, remembering the earlier practice. “So why’d you transfer to Edgewater? Seems like everyone’s trying to get into that little private school you used to go to.”

“Just didn’t like it,” she tugs at her jersey, trying to hide the scar on her hip from the real reason she left.

_”What are you going to do faggot? Gonna call Principal Adams? What’s he going to do for you but call your mommy? Oh wait, she doesn’t give a shit about you either._

“Emma?” Alyssa calls, noticing the girl hadn’t even moved as another ball flew past her head.

“Huh? Oh, I zoned out. Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Alyssa begins to walk towards her.

She takes another shot at Emma, who stops it easily. "Why don't I ever see you at lunch?" Alyssa dribbles the ball closer to her so she can hear her answer.

"I don't go to lunch." She pauses as she dives, letting the ball hit her in the stomach in order to stop it. "I don't really have any friends, so what's the point of going in there to sit alone and embarrass myself?"

"Where do you eat?" Alyssa asks, now she's growing concerned.

"Sometimes I eat in the library, but the librarian is kind of strict on the no food policy. Sometimes I just don't eat at all."

Now the brunette really is concerned, working out like this every day isn't healthy if someone isn't eating enough. "You- you could always sit with me."

"I don't need your pity seat."

"It's not a pity seat," she gets defensive. "I don't pity you, Emma. I just want to make sure that you eat enough since it is my job as captain to make sure everyone on the team is healthy."

"Captain huh?" Emma juggles the ball for a few seconds before passing it back to Alyssa. "They already decide that?"

"Well, no," she admits sheepishly, blush creeping back onto her cheeks. "But I have a feeling that it'll be me. I'm the only one who's been on varsity all four years."

"You're the only one _at this school._ I've been on varsity since I was thirteen."

"How is that even possible?"

"Eighth graders could be on varsity at E.P."

Alyssa rolls her eyes. "That doesn't even count."

"Says who?"

"Says- says- fuck it."

Emma laughs a little, and Alyssa giggles involuntarily. Alyssa sighs as she sees Barry wave his hand towards them, motioning for them to come towards him. "I think he's trying to get us to leave. That man does not like to miss his sitcom reruns," she grabs the bag. "Has it really been half an hour already? Time flew by."

“Yeah it did,” Emma puts a few of the balls in the bag. “We should do it again sometime. If you want to, I mean, we don’t have to, I don’t want to force you to do anything you don’t wanna do, I just thought that maybe-”

“No, we should definitely do this again,” Alyssa smiles at her. 

“Oh you will,” Barry grabs the bag from the two of them, startling them both because they had no idea he had walked towards them. “I want you both here every day after practice. We have a state championship to think about, and you both have the potential to be our stars if you work for it.”

Alyssa and Emma grin at each other, before parting ways. The season hadn’t even begun yet, and both of them could already tell it was going to be an interesting one.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> warnings for some homophobia and slurs

“Emma! Over here!” Alyssa waves her new friend over to her table at lunch the next day, which gets her weird glances from Shelby and Kaylee. 

Emma sits down quietly, pulling out a sandwich wrapped up in her book bag. “Is that all you’re going to eat?” Shelby questions, eyebrows raised in a way that makes Emma question whether she’s concerned or making fun of her. 

“Oh yeah, I guess,” she says quietly, eyes staring at the floor.

Alyssa nudges Shelby, who rolls her eyes at her. She then kicks Emma’s foot a little, and the blond looks up to see her smiling. Emma smiles back at her, taking a bite of her sandwich. “Here,” Kaylee grabs the cookie off of her plate and puts it on Emma’s napkin. “Think of it as a welcoming gift.”

Emma glances at it for a second, weary of the idea of eating food from the girl who only a day earlier had been making fun of her. Alyssa nods at her, letting her know that it’s okay. She takes a bite, smiling at Kaylee. “Thanks.”

“Of course,” she grins, before continuing to eat her salad. 

By the time lunch is over, both Emma and Alyssa are heading into biology. They sit across the room from each other, each with their own lab partners. Emma finds herself getting distracted as she tries to take notes on her teacher’s lecture, finding herself looking up at Alyssa every so often and smiling. Alyssa always seems to be looking back at her.

“Alright, I’ve been watching you guys for a few days now, and I think it’s time that we change things up in here! I’ve assigned new lab partners that will begin sitting together tomorrow, and we’ll also start on our new project then.”

Both girls heads perk up at the mention of new partners. Their teacher begins to read off from a list, and when Alyssa hears her name next to Emma’s she can’t help but grin at the blonde girl. The bell rings, and the two of them are heading out the door and to their English and math classes, but for some reason, neither of them can get the other out of their head.

…

“You’re early today,” Coach Glickman comments as Alyssa climbs the stairs of the bleachers, cleats in hand.

“We got out of English early,” she shrugs.

Just before Barry can speak up again, Kaylee, Shelby, and Emma come walking up the stairs, talking and laughing as if they were old friends. Alyssa feels a pang in her chest as she watches Emma playfully nudge Shelby, but she can’t quite identify the feeling. She isn’t sure she’s ever felt it before.

“Did the three musketeers finally get a fourth?” Barry questions, watching them sit next to Alyssa and pull out their cleats.

Emma smiles politely but doesn’t say anything. She sits next to Alyssa and begins lacing up her cleats, before pulling out her gloves from her bag. Alyssa finds herself staring at her hands as she fiddles in her bag for something, before pulling out a thing of pre-wrap. “You want any?” she questions, tearing off a piece before tying it into a headband.

“Honestly, I’ve never used pre-wrap before,” Alyssa shrugs. “I don’t know how to do all that fancy stuff you do.”

“Do you want to?”

Alyssa nods, and Emma gently pushes her shoulders so that she’s facing the opposite direction. She takes the pre-wrap and wraps it around Alyssa’s head, before tying it into a knot right next to her neck. Once she breaks the pre-wrap she turns Alyssa around, who grins at her. “How’s it look?”

“Perfect,” Emma breathes, and she finds herself staring into the brunette’s brown eyes. There has never been such a beautiful girl staring back at her. 

_”Hey faggot, why don’t you stop staring at that girl and start playing the fucking game?! We won’t ever win with you staring at the defender’s ass the whole time!”_

“Emma?” Alyssa waves her hand in front of her eyes, forcing her to blink and break out of her trance.

“Sorry,” she says immediately, staring at her feet.

“It’s okay,” Alyssa puts a hand on her shoulder. “Thanks for doing my pre-wrap, it looks great!”

“Alright girls, let’s get going!” Coach Glickman calls. “Same warm-up as yesterday!”

The team jogs off of the bleachers and straight until their run, before splitting off into the same four groups as the day before. “Sydney, Emma,” Coach Dickenson calls as they begin to work on their goalkeeping warm-ups. “You two are going to work with the defenders today once you’re warm, we’re going to work on clearing the ball.”

Both girls nod, just as Coach Allen walks over with the defenders. Shelby is leading the group with two other seniors, one of whom Emma recognizes from her biology class, she had been Alyssa’s old partner. The other she knows is from her English class, mostly because she had given Emma notes on their first novel when she had gotten lost. “Alright, I was thinking we could have the defenders run through touching back to the goalies and then clearing it from the goalie,” she says, and Coach Dickenson agrees. “Shelby, you go to left-back, Fei I want you at right, and Britt let’s put you at the center. The rest of you can switch in and out when Syd and Emma switch.”

Everyone nods, and soon the drill is going full swing. Emma doesn’t have trouble with it like she did the last one, working with the defenders has always been her strong suit. Eventually, it has to come to an end, and Coach Glickman is calling them all over to get water and talk in the center circle. “Today is a big day,” he announces. “As many of you know, tomorrow I will be posting the results of the tryouts. We’re taking twenty for JV and eighteen for varsity, and seeing as there are over forty of you that means we will be making cuts.”

Emma felt her heart rate pick up a little bit. She was pretty sure that she would make it, seeing as she and Syd were the only two keepers of the bunch, but there was no guarantee. “That being said,” he continues. “I want to see you in a little bit of playing action before I make my decision, so for the rest of the tryout today we will be scrimmaging.”

There were a few cheers and groans as he split people into two teams. Alyssa was captain of one, while Shelby was captain of the other. It was very obvious that Alyssa’s was much more offensive focused, while Shelby’s was much more defensive. After a coin toss that Shelby claimed was unfair, Alyssa’s team got possession of the ball first.

And then everything went to shit.

Emma, who had been put on Shelby’s team, didn’t realize just how aggressive tryouts could be. Everyone was fouling, but since there were no refs no one really cared. People were slide tackling and taking each other out like this was a warzone and not a high school soccer field. 

There was one moment in particular that stuck out.

Alyssa was coming at her full force from the left side. Britt was trying to keep up with her but the pass from Kaylee was nearly perfect. Emma begins to move up, trying to intimidate the forward, when Shelby comes out of nowhere with a slide tackle. The problem is it isn’t clean.

Alyssa isn’t getting up.

_“Goddamn it Emma, can’t you ever do anything right? Control your fucking defenders!” her old teammate had screamed at her, she was the reason that Naomi would never play soccer again._

“Em!” Fei calls her over, and she’s brought back to reality once again.

Emma jogs over to where Alyssa is lying on the grass. Her face is scrunched up in pain, and she only opens her eyes when she feels Emma touch her shoulder. “Alyssa you gotta tell me what’s wrong.”

“Can’t- can’t breathe,” she gasps for air, and Emma helps her sit up, just as the coaches come rushing over.

Emma rubs her back while the coaches talk to her, trying to get her breathing to slow down so she doesn’t hyperventilate. Eventually, she finally catches her breath, and she can speak properly. “Sorry, I got the breath knocked out of me. I started panicking.”

“That’s alright,” Coach Dickenson reassures her, as Emma helps her to her feet. “I’m just glad Emma was here to help you calm down. It seems like you two have some sort of secret bond that calms each other.”

Alyssa smiles at Emma, giving her hand a tight squeeze before letting go. “Yeah, I guess you could say we do.”

“Alyssa, are you okay to keep playing?” Coach Glickman asks, trying to make sure he didn’t kill any of his seniors before their season even began.

Alyssa nods, immediately lining up in front of the ball. “I totally am, but I believe that was a foul.”

“Oh, that was definitely a yellow card,” Fei calls from her position.

“Shut up Fei!” Shelby calls back, but Barry pretends to throw a card up. 

The game resumes as Alyssa takes her free-kick, which just happens to hit Shelby in the head as she’s standing in the wall. By the time the scrimmage is over, Alyssa’s team has won with a one-goal lead, although Emma doesn’t feel like she’s lost. As soon as the game is over Alyssa runs over to give her a hug, smiling at her as they pull apart. “You’re staying right?”

“Huh?”

“For our extra half hour?”

“Oh, right, yeah!” she grins.

Alyssa grins back, and while the rest of their teammates begin to pack up and leave, they get into positions on one of the goals. Alyssa takes a few PKs first, trying to warm herself up for the real shots she’ll be taking soon enough. Barry stands by the goal line, watching as Alyssa takes shot after shot, nearly all of them flying over the crossbar. “Okay Christen Press,” he shakes his head, which makes both of the girls stare at him weirdly.

“What does Christen Press have to do with this?” Emma questions. “Isn’t she a forward on the national team?”

“Yes, and in the last Olympics she took a PK that flew over the crossbar in the game that knocked the US out.”

“Oh,” Alyssa looks slightly hurt.

“Look, I’m trying to help you so that you don’t do that when you reach the national team.”

“I’ll never make the national team.”

“Never say never.”

“That’s an oxymoron,” Emma points out.

“Shut up disaster child.”

Emma jokingly acts offended at the nickname. “That’s your name because you punched Aimee in the face.”

“I was going for the ball!”

“And yet you still punched one of our best forwards in the jaw!”

“Okay, fair.”

“Now, back to Ms. Christen Press over here. You’re getting too worked up over your PKs. When taking a PK, you also need to take a deep breath. Most of the time goalies have no idea how to block these things, so as long as you’re not too obvious it’s basically a free goal.”

Alyssa nods, closing her eyes and mentally counting to ten. When she opens them, Emma is on the line and Barry is beside the goal again, giving her a thumbs up. She sets the ball down, then backs up five steps. Five, because it gives her the perfect pace. One, two, three, four, shot, and- “Goal!” Barry yells, and Emma runs out to give her a high-five.

“You did it!” she praises, and instead of a high-five the brunette simply throws her arms around her.

“Promise you didn’t go easy on me?”

“Alyssa Greene, I will never go easy on you. I have a reputation to uphold,” she teases, which makes Alyssa giggle in a way she never has before.

“Alright you two, get back to work,” Barry smiles, walking back over to the bleachers to watch. 

After half an hour of shots the girls finally finish up, but Alyssa finds herself being sadder than relieved that practice is over. “Hey, do you wanna go grab froyo?” she asks suddenly, making Emma look up from where she’s unlacing her cleats.

“Where on earth in Edgewater is there froyo?”

“Well, not in Edgewater, but there's a place a town over. We could grab dinner there too and hang out for a bit? Only if you want to, I mean, I don’t want to step on your toes if you have plans or anything.”

“No that sounds great,” Emma grins, stuffing her cleats into her bag. “Just let me text my mom to make sure it’s okay with her. We taking your car or mine?”

“We can take mine. You can even stay the night if you want. I know it’s a school night but I mean, I live like two blocks away from the school.”

“I’d like that yeah,” the girls stand up, bid goodbye to Barry, then climb into Alyssa’s car.

Just before they pull out, Emma gets a text from her mom saying that the plans were fine. Alyssa grins as Emma reads the text aloud, and the two of them begin to head for the froyo place. “Em, can I ask you something?” Alyssa asks just after five minutes of silence.

“Yeah of course,” she looks up from her phone to find the girl staring at the road ahead, but concern still lingers in her eyes.

“What’s it like at Edgewater Prep?”

“Uh, well, it’s a lot smaller than EHS.”

_”Everyone knows, Emma. There’s no reason to hide it anymore. Why don’t you just admit to it, faggot._

“Yeah? What else?”

“We had to wear uniforms, except on dress down days, but those were rare.”

_“What the hell are you wearing? No one’s going to want to be your friend in that, it’s like you’re asking for us to do this to you._

“That would suck,” Alyssa laughs a little, but the look in her eyes still hasn’t changed. “But was it better there? Do you ever miss it?”

_”If you’d just kill yourself you wouldn't have to deal with all of this. Why don’t you ever listen to us, Emma? We’ve been telling you your way out this whole time._

“Not really.”

“Why not?” 

“I just didn’t fit in there,” she shrugs. “I don’t really fit in here either, but at least you guys don’t give me shit about it every day.”

“They gave you shit about it?” her brow furrows in worry, the concern in her eyes grew deeper. “What kind of shit?”

“Just called me names and stuff. It isn’t a big deal.”

“It is a big deal to me,” she finally takes her eyes off the road as they come to a parking space in front of the froyo place. “No one deserves to feel like they don’t belong somewhere.”

Emma smiles a little bit. “Well, thank you for keeping me from feeling that way here.”

“Always,” Alyssa takes her hands suddenly. “And you know you can always talk to me about stuff like this right?”

“I know,” Emma says, and Alyssa drops her hands. “You can always talk to me too.”

They walk into froyo place without saying anything more, making their deserts before sitting down at a table in the corner. “Alright, I told you about my old life,” Emma says, pointing her spoon towards Alyssa. “Your turn, tell me about you.”

“Uh, well, my dad left when I was really young.”

The smile drops from Emma’s face. “Oh, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Alyssa shakes her head. “Really. I was only like five when he left, and I’ve definitely adapted to life without him. I don’t need him anymore. Me and my mom are fine on our own, though sometimes I think she has trouble realizing that.”

“What do you mean?”

“She thinks that if I’m perfect he might come back. I mean, this woman tracks my everything. My grades, my goals, my weight. If it doesn’t fit into her standard she gets pissed off, but I guess I get it. She was kind of traumatized when Dad took off without so much as a goodbye.”

“I guess that makes sense,” Emma says, taking another bite of her treat. “Is she really that rough on you?”

“She’s kind of lightened up this year. Last year was awful, she found some stuff on my phone and absolutely lost it. My social media was monitored for so long that I still delete everything before I put my phone up for the night.”

“That sucks,” Emma frowns. “What were you looking at that got her so worked up?”

“Um,” she mumbles, staring at the floor. “I don’t really want to talk about it.”

Emma’s eyes widen as she thinks about all the possibilities of what it could be. “Oh fuck. I’m sorry, that was rude. I shouldn’t have asked, it’s not my business.”

“It’s okay,” when Alyssa looks up again she’s smiling once again. “There’s no need to apologize for being curious.”

Emma smiles at her, taking another bite. “What do you wanna do for dinner?”

“We could go grab Chinese? There’s a place downtown. Unless you don’t want Chinese or you don’t like it or you’re-”

“Chinese sounds great,” Emma reassures her. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” she lies.

“Okay,” they get up to throw their cups away, before walking back to Alyssa’s car.

They drive down the road to the Chinese restaurant, but before they can get out Emma looks over at Alyssa, who suddenly has tears stinging her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she mumbles, shaking her head and trying to wipe the tears out of her eyes.

“You don’t have to apologize,” Emma says, reaching out to take her hand. “I promise, you’re okay. I’m not gonna judge you for crying.”

“I just don’t open up about my mom a lot,” she sighs. “She tries, but sometimes she tries too much.”

“I get it.”

“Let’s go inside,” Alyssa says suddenly, sniffling as she wipes the tears away from her eyes. 

“Okay,” Emma agrees, but as soon as they’re out of the car goes in for a hug. “You know I have your back right?”

“Thank you,” Alyssa pulls back. “It means a lot. Now let’s go get some food ‘cause I’m starving.”

Emma nods, and they walk into the building. They sit down and get some food from the buffet before beginning to eat. “So what about your parents? What are they like?” Alyssa asks, taking a bite of her chicken.

“They’re kinda strict about stuff,” she sighs. “But they don’t sound nearly as bad as your mom.”

_”What the hell is this? Some sort of rainbow pride bullshit?! How can you be happy about this fucking mental illness? No daughter of mine will be caught dead with this shit!”_

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, they just don’t like it when I stay out too late. I’m honestly surprised they let me stay out with you tonight. They probably just want to get rid of me, honestly.”

“They would never want to get rid of you!” Alyssa reassures. “They’re your parents.”

_“I can’t wait until you’re eighteen, that way I can finally kick you out of this fucking house! You don’t even deserve to live here!”_

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” Emma grows quiet. 

“Hey,” Alyssa takes her hand, rubbing her thumb over her knuckles. “I’ve got your back.”

Emma smiles a little, but then pulls her hand away, a blush creeping at her cheeks. Alyssa feels her own cheeks heating up a little, so she stares at the ground, just as a pit in her stomach begins to form. Emma notices when she begins to play with the food on her plate instead of eating it. “Hey, are you feeling okay?”

“I’m not hungry anymore,” she says quietly. 

“Hey, we can go now if you want. I can pay for it. I can even drive if you aren’t feeling well.”

“No, no, you don’t have to do that, I don’t want to-”

“I got it,” Emma says quickly, putting her and up to stop Alyssa. “Let me do this, okay?”

Alyssa nods a little, and Emma goes up to the counter to pay. When she gets back Alyssa has her head in her hands, and she can faintly see tears at the corner of her eyes. “Hey,” she helps to pull her up. “Let’s get you home.”

Alyssa nods, but for some reason, the arm around her doesn’t comfort her like it normally does. Instead, she feels sick to her stomach, so she pulls away as soon as they reach the car. She gets into the passenger seat of the car, and halfway home she finally begins to feel like herself again. 

By the time they reach her house the rocking of the car has nearly lulled her to sleep, but she knows she has to get up to introduce Emma to her mom. “Hey, Alyssa,” Emma says softly, and the girl sleepily turns to face her. “Do you want to get out or do you wanna sit in here for a little bit?”

“Can we just stay in here for a couple of minutes? It’s peaceful.”

“Of course,” Emma smiles, as Alyssa plugs her phone into her aux cord. “You better have good music taste.”

“I have the best music taste,” Alyssa teases, finally letting herself relax again. 

The car is comforting, the way that here no one can hurt them. Here, Alyssa doesn’t have to worry about anyone seeing them or questioning if they were anything more than friends. 

She doesn’t have to confront her own feelings.

She doesn’t have to think about the fact that she might _want_ to be something more.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> backstories are fun unless your name is Emma Nolan  
> Tw for major homophobia and slurs

“Are you ready to go in?” Alyssa asks a few minutes later.  
“I’m ready when you are,” Emma shrugs.  
“I really don’t know how mom’s going to react, so I’m sorry if it’s bad.”  
“It’s okay,” she reassures. “I promise I can handle it.”  
“I just don’t know if _I_ can.”  
Emma smiles and suddenly Alyssa’s fears have all melted away. They get out of the car and walk into the house, where Mrs. Greene is sitting on the couch, reading a book. “Hello Alyssa,” she looks up when she sees Emma. “Oh! You must be Emma!”  
She stands suddenly, putting her hand out for the blond to shake. Emma gives her a polite smile before shaking her hand, and Alyssa breathes a sigh of relief. At least, for now, her mom isn’t being a jerk.  
They sneak away to Alyssa’s room after her mom debriefs them on what they did, and when Alyssa shuts the door Emma can practically hear her relax. Alyssa throws her bag into her closet, before taking Emma’s and doing the same. “Oh shit, I didn’t even ask you if you had clothes or not. We can run by your house if you want to.”  
“No it’s okay,” Emma smiles. “I always keep extra clothes in my bag.”  
“Just in case you’re invited to an impromptu sleepover?”  
“Nah, just for emergencies.”  
“What kind of emergency would you need extra clothes for?”  
_”Hey Emma, maybe you should watch where you’re going,” there was soup all over her now. “Looks like you had a little accident.”_  
“I don’t know. You never know when you’ll spill something on yourself.”  
“I guess you’re right,” Alyssa can tell that Emma is beginning to get tense. “Are you alright? You look a little pale.”  
Emma nods, but Alyssa doesn’t believe her. “Do you want to watch a movie? We can lay down and watch it until we fall asleep.”  
“Oh, I figured I was sleeping on your floor.”  
“No way!” Alyssa shakes her head. “My bed is big enough for two people, I promise.”  
Emma nods, and after the two of them have changed into pajamas they lay down on Alyssa’s bed. Alyssa puts on _Lilo and Stitch,_ and curls up with one of her blankets, letting her eyes fall heavy despite the fact that it's only half-past eight.  
When the movie is nearly halfway over Alyssa realizes she hasn’t heard anything from Emma. She turns over to see her curled up beside her, tears streaming down her face as she covers her mouth to keep herself from making noise. “Em!” she hits the lamp to turn the light on again, reaching out to wipe tears out of her eyes. “What’s wrong? Are you sick? Did I say something?”  
She shakes her head, unable to process the words she’s trying to get out of her mouth. Alyssa helps her sit up, then pulls her into a tight embrace. “You’re shaking,” she whispers softly, wrapping one of her fluffy blankets around her shoulders. “Talk to me, Emma. What’s going on?”  
“I don’t deserve you,” she chokes out.  
“What are you talking about?” Alyssa strokes her hair gently, before resting a hand on her cheek. “Jesus Christ, you’re on fire Emma.”  
“P-panic attack,” she chokes.  
“Oh shit, okay,” Alyssa rubs her knuckles with her thumbs. “Are you alright now?”  
Emma nods a little, squeezing Alyssa’s hand. The brunette lays a hand on her forehead, wincing at the amount of heat coming off of her. “We need to get that down,” she sighs, just as Emma kicks the blankets off of her. “Do you usually get hot when you have panic attacks?”  
Emma nods, so Alyssa gets up. She quickly walks to the bathroom and wets a washcloth with cold water, before bringing it back to the blond laying in her bed. She wipes down her face for a minute, before laying it on her forehead. “Better?”  
Nodding again, Emma sighs contently. Alyssa smiles, running her fingers through her hair. Once she knows the younger girl is no longer freaking out, she tries to approach the subject. “Em, what was that?”  
“I told you,” she sighs. “I just had a panic attack.”  
“Why though? If you don’t mind me asking. I just don’t want to trigger another one.”  
Emma sighs, sitting up a little bit. “Do you want to know the real reason I left Prep?”  
“If you don’t mind telling me,” Alyssa says, grabbing her hand again.  
“You’re going to hate me.”  
“I don’t think that’s humanly possible,” Alyssa breathes, her heart taking over her words rather than her brain.  
_Emma had been sitting on a park bench outside of the cafeteria. The juniors and seniors were allowed to sit out there during the lunch period instead of going on, something that Emma was insanely grateful for. Usually, kids left her alone when she was out here._  
Today, however, they seemed to have other plans. She was getting up to throw her paper bag away when one of the guys pushed her back into her seat. “Nolan, why the hell did your parents’ screaming wake up my whole family last night?”  
“I- I don’t know,” Emma stammered, staring at the three obviously stronger teenagers glaring at her. “They fight a lot, and they were probably just arguing over-”  
“Oh they were arguing alright,” the one girl in the group smirks at her. “I heard your dad yelling. He sad it was your mom’s fault that you turned into a dyke. Are you gay Emma?”  
Emma didn’t know what she was supposed to say to that. No one was supposed to know she was gay, not even her parents. The noise-canceling headphones her grandmother had gotten her must work better than she had thought, because she hadn’t even heard this argument.  
“Hey, she asked you a question,” the first boy, the one who had pushed her, now grabs her shirt collar, jerking her to her feet.  
“I- I don’t know,” she stammered, twisting in an attempt to get out of his grip but ultimately making it worse.  
“I knew it!” the girl squeals. “I knew we had to have a faggot on campus! Just wait until I tell Allie about this!”  
Emma felt her heart drop down to her stomach, just as the boy dropped her back onto her feet. “Just you wait,” he laughed. “Your life’s gonna be a living hell.”  
He kept good on his promise. The next morning when she showed up to school her locker was covered in permanent marker, different slurs written in sloppy handwriting all over it. The school didn’t care, they did nothing. Not even when she showed the principal.  
The next day it was the girls that got to her. One of the girls who had been on her team, one of the girls that she thought was her friend, had grabbed her by the hair and drug her to the bathroom, throwing her head into the toilet until her hair was soaked and swirled into an unnatural direction.  
The third day was the worst day that Emma had ever been through. For most of it, things were okay. No one stopped her in the hallway to pull her around, no one even shoved past her. She thought that maybe things had calmed down and she was going to be okay.  
She had never been more wrong.  
Soccer practice rolled around, and no one was there. Not a single coach or player was on the field when Emma arrived, which worried her more than anything in the past two days combined. Lacing up her cleats like normal, she walked down to the pitch with a ball in her hands, her gloves hanging from the pocket in her shorts. “Hello?” she called out. Surely, this had to be a mistake. Most days she was the last person to practice, a practice that was supposed to start fifteen minutes earlier. Emma checked her phone to see if she had missed a text from her coach on the team group chat.  
Nothing.  
Emma was just about to give up and go home when she heard one of the girls calling her name, the other goalkeeper on the team to be exact. “They had to put fertilizer on the field!” she had called. “We’re in the gym!”  
She nodded, sighing with relief as she got up. At least she wasn’t too late for practice. After taking her cleats off so as not to get them messed up, she walked back towards the campus. In the gym, everything came to a standstill as she walked in. No one moved, no one said anything as she sat on the bleachers, pulling out her sneakers. All eyes were on her, and when she had both of them on, she started to head for the goalkeeping coach, only to realize he was nowhere to be found.  
The captain, a blond senior who had taken Emma under her wing her freshman year, stepped forward, taking the younger girl by the wrist. “Come with me.”  
Emma could feel how tense she was, but she didn’t argue. If there was anything the then-junior had learned over the past few days, it was that arguing only made things worse. The olde girl drug Emma to the locker room, where two other seniors were sitting. They had both once told Emma that they loved her when she was only a sophomore. They had told her that they would protect her from anything, especially the upperclassmen.  
Now they were the upperclassmen, and they could not protect her from themselves.  
“Em, this hurts us more than it hurts you,” one of them whispered, pulling something out of her bag.  
She had heard those words before when her dad would beat her for doing things he didn’t like, things he didn’t approve of. Emma finally got her first glance at what the older girl had pulled out of her pocket, and it was a hair straightener. What the hell could they do to her with a hair straightener?  
Emma had forgotten how hot those things could get. They pressed it into her hip while she screamed out in pain, but one of the girls gagged her with a shirt. “Emma shut the hell up!” she whispered harshly. “If you get us caught I promise we’ll do so much worse.”  
Emma whimpered but remained quiet as they did it again. She prayed to whatever god was out there that this would be over soon, that she could go home and cry in peace. There were another thirty minutes where the girls debated what they should do next, and it ultimately ended up being pushing Emma out of the door, her landing on the pavement and sliding. Her leg was cut into a thousand pieces because of the rocks, and all she could do was cry. Students passed by her, none of them saying a word. They all knew. This was planned.  
“And do you wanna know the worst part?” Emma sniffles, her breath coming out in ragged breaths, tears pouring down her face. “The worst part was that I was. It was the horrible thing they kept calling me. I don’t know why the hell I’m telling you this because I know it’ll make you hate me too. Maybe I deserve to be hated.”  
Alyssa took a deep breath, trying to process everything Emma had just told her. She was gay? They had hurt her for that? Looking up, she realized the blond was shaking as if the room had dropped twenty degrees, and she felt her heart shatter into a million pieces. “Em,” she reaches out, not sure how Emma will react. “I’m right here, I promise. I am never going to hate you for that.”  
Emma stares at her for a minute. No one had ever said that to her, not even her own parents. When they had caught word of the bullying, all they had told her was that if she was really gay that she should be ready to leave. That was the night that she decided she couldn’t be who she was if she wanted a normal life. It was the night that she retreated back into the closet.  
This was the first time she had taken a step out in a long time.  
Alyssa takes her into her arms, rubbing her back as she cries. Emma can’t recall the last time that she felt this safe or the last time that she had ever let herself relax while someone had any physical contact with her. For once in her life, everything was okay.  
“Girls?” the door opens suddenly, and Mrs. Greene is poking her head in the door. ‘What’s going on?”  
Emma immediately sits up, knocking off the washcloth, but she goes too quickly apparently because she gets a headrush that makes her see black spots for a minute. She puts her head in her hands, closing her eyes tightly. _Damn antidepressants._ Alyssa uses this as her opportunity to make an excuse. “She had a nightmare and woke up crying, I was just trying to help!”  
“Oh,” Mrs. Greene sits on the other side of Emma, who looks up at her with a tear-stained face. “Dear, if you aren’t feeling well we can always take you home, or we have medicine here I think. Are you running a fever?”  
She places a hand on Emma’s forehead, which has cooled off significantly since her earlier panic attack. Emma shakes her head when she pulls it back, and Mrs. Greene gives her a sympathetic smile. “You can talk to me you know? I love meeting Alyssa’s new friends.”  
Emma doesn’t understand how Alyssa could think this woman was mean, but then she remembers how deceptive her own mother is. She feels Mrs. Greene pull her in for a small hug, before telling the girls they should probably head to bed soon.  
As soon as she’s gone, Alyssa wraps her arms around Emma, and they lie down, Ema snuggling close to Alyssa’s chest. The fact that she had a friend, _a real friend,_ meant so much to her. Someone actually cared about her, and she couldn’t remember the last time she felt this safe.  
Meanwhile, Alyssa was trying to calm her heart rate because she didn’t want Emma to hear it. It was racing, and not because of the fact that her mother had just walked in on them. She was glad she and Emma were becoming friends.  
_But Alyssa Greene wanted to be more._


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The results of tryouts are interesting, but something else is distracting the girls.

“How’s Emma?” it’s two hours later, and Mrs. Greene is still reading in the living room. 

Alyssa had gotten up to get some water from the kitchen around eleven, and she honestly wasn’t expecting her mother to be awake. “I think she’s okay,” she smiles a little, taking a sip out of her water bottle.

“Well, let her know I can drive her home tomorrow if she isn’t feeling well enough for school.”

“I’m sure she’ll appreciate it.”

“Sit down for a second honey, I want to talk to you about something.”

Alyssa feels her heart drop to her stomach, those words always meant trouble. She sits on the opposite end of the couch and looks at her mother, expecting her to berate her for what she’s wearing or what she ate for dinner. “What’s Emma’s last name?”

“Nolan.”

“Hmm.”

“What?”

“Is she the same girl that we heard all the rumors about from the parents at Edgewater? The one they thought was a lesbian.”

“Mom,” Alyssa scolds. “Are you really going to believe some gossip from a few teenagers?”

“Well, I suppose not,” she shakes her head with a smile. “That’s a bit silly of me, isn’t it? There’s no telling the rumors that go around every day.”

“Exactly,” Alyssa tries to hide the way her hand is beginning to shake. If her mother knew the truth, if she knew Emma’s secret, she would never let her near Alyssa. “Is there anything else you wanted to talk about?”

“No, I think that’s it. Do you get the results of tryouts tomorrow?”

“Yeah, Coach Glickman said he should have them posted by the time we get to lunch.”

“Are you excited? Senior year!”

“Yeah, I am, but right now I think I’m just exhausted.”

“Well, you should head up to bed. I’ll see you in the morning dear.”

She gives her daughter a small hug before the two of them head to their separate rooms, and Alyssa climbs back into bed with Emma, who is snoring peacefully while curled up with one of Alyssa’s pillows. She opens her eyes a little when she feels the bed dip, and the brunette smiles at her. “You already replaced me?” she jokes, and Emma looks down at the pillow in her arms.

“Apparently,” she giggles a little as Alyssa puls her back into her arms. “You’re better though.”

“I would hope so,” she smiles, running her fingers through Emma’s curls. “Are you feeling okay?”

“I’m okay now, but thanks for checking up on me.”

“Anytime,” Alyssa lets her hand rest on her cheek for a minute. “You’re a lot cooler. It scared the shit out of me right after your panic attack. I mean, you were literally on fire.”

“Yeah, I get really hot after those,” Emma sighs. “I’m sorry for scaring you.”

“Don’t apologize,” Alyssa shakes her head. “I was just worried, it’s because I care about you.”

“I don’t think anyone’s ever cared about me before.”

Alyssa is taken aback for a minute. “Well, I do,” she teases, “boop”ing Emma’s nose. “And there is nothing you can do to stop me.”

“Damn it,” Emma laughs. “You know I was such a loner at my old school, no friends allowed.”

“I’m glad you have friends here,” Alyssa smiles. “Even if it is the most boring person in the world.”

“You are not boring.”

“I’m literally the girl next door to the girl next door.”

Emma has to laugh at that. “Well, I don’t think you are.”

Alyssa smiles at her, a genuine smile that makes her eyes crinkle at the edges and lights up the entire room despite the fact that it’s completely dark outside. Emma watches as she lunges into a hug, throwing her arms around Emma’s neck as if it would kill her to let go.

They fall asleep in each other’s arms, the world around them floating away.

…

“I think I’m gonna throw up,” Shelby says, arms wrapped around her stomach as she paces back and forth on the gym floor. “He said he would have it posted by lunch, and it’s not here. What if he’s making last-minute changes? What if he’s cutting us?”

“Shelbs, he isn’t going to cut us,” Alyssa shakes her head, watching as the brunette paces. “Can you please sit down? You’re stressing me out.”

“Sorry,” she sits next to Kaylee, who’s furiously texting away on her phone, her fingers moving faster than Alyssa thought was possible.

“Have any of you seen Emma?” Alyssa asks anxiously. “I haven’t seen her since we got to school today.”

“She’s probably just running late,” Kaylee shrugs, finally putting her phone down. “She had English last class, and you know that Mr. Andrews always runs late.”

Alyssa wants to point out that he had let her out earlier just a day earlier, but she keeps her mouth shut. Pointing it out would just make her more anxious because it opens up a world of possibilities. Was she having a panic attack? Was she actually sick like her mother had thought? What if she was all alone in the bathroom freaking out? What if-

“Hey, sorry,” Emma walks into the gym. “Andrews kept me late.”

“Called it,” Kaylee smiles, throwing an arm around her. “You know this one worries about you too much.”

Alyssa rolls her eyes, but smiles as Emma and Kaylee sit next to her. Kaylee leans back so that she’s resting on Shelby’s knees, and Alyssa moves to sit behind Emma so she can do the same. “Glickman better hurry up,” Fei mumbles as she and Britt come walking through the doors. “I have a history test last period, and I didn’t study for it.”

“You know Glickman’s never on time,” Veronica, one of the midfielders pipes up from the row below them. “He’ll be late to his own funeral.”

This earns a few snickers from the team, just as their coach walks into the gym. “We were beginning to think you forgot about us,” Dani smirks, rolling their eyes.

“How could I forget about you? You’re all so annoying,” he laughs, pinning the list for the varsity and JV teams onto the board. “Have at it!”

The seniors sit back as the rest of the team rushes up to the board. From four years of playing they had learned to sit back until the end, no matter how nervous they were. Eventually, the freshmen part like the red sea and the seniors get up, looking at the results. “Emma! We made it!” Alyssa looks up as Fei yells, and Emma goes barrelling towards her, nearly taking the girl out with a hug. 

They look into each other’s eyes and Fei can’t help but smile as Emma pulls her close again. Alyssa thinks she’s going to be sick. Before she can say anything, Shelby grabs her arm and pulls her over to the two of them, squealing the whole time. “We made it!” she high-fives Fei, who finally leaves Emma’s arms. “Who's ready for the greatest senior year ever?”

Alyssa nods, but she can’t help but notice the pit in her stomach as Fei puts her arm around Emma once more. 

…

“Do you wanna study at my house after practice?” Alyssa asks while she and Emma get water before their extra half hour. “We have that chem test coming up, and I want to make sure I’m prepared.”

“Yeah we can,” Emma seems distracted as she stares off into the distance. Alyssa looks where she is and finds the defenders talking to each other, specifically Fei and Shelby.

_Stop it,_ she told herself. Alyssa Greene was straight. Alyssa Greene’s mother would kill her if she were anything other than straight. Alyssa Greene liked boys and only boys and no one else. 

So why the hell was Alyssa Greene getting jealous like this?

“‘Lys, you coming?” Emma nods her head towards the field, pulling her gloves back onto her hands.

“Yeah, sorry,” she shakes her head, trying to get out of her trance. “Let’s get going.”

They walk back down to the field and work on their shots before Barry stops them, smiling mischievously as he takes away the balls they had between the two of them. “What are you doing?” Alyssa groans. She had become used to this routine, and now he was taking it away.

“Both of you are behind on conditioning.”

“We are not!” Alyssa interjects immediately. “I run a mile every day!”

“The average forward will run over three miles a game,” Barry crosses his arms and smirks. “You two are going to run the cross country course today!”

Emma groans, one of the few complaints that she had given the older coach. “Can’t we just run three miles on the field? I hate that course.”

“You’ve been on it?”

“Yeah, my first week,” Emma shakes her head. “Long story.”

“Which you’ll have plenty of time to tell while you’re running,” Barry says as he walks the two girls up to the beginning of it. “I’ll wait here for you to finish.”

The girls both sigh but begin to jog, letting the pounding of their feet take over instead of conversation. Alyssa can’t explain the sudden awkward silence that takes over between them as if both of them wanted to talk but neither of them had the right words. “Are you coming to the sleepover this weekend?” Alyssa says suddenly, finding a conversation starter.

“What sleepover?”

“Every year when the team is picked one of the seniors hosts a huge sleepover for the whole team! I’m hosting it this year, and you should totally come. I think you’d have a really good time.”

“Yeah, I guess I will then.”

The silence takes over again, and Alyssa wants to scream. It’s too quiet on the trail, which makes her heartbeat ringing in her ears overwhelmingly loud. She tries to focus on her feet, counting “one, two” over and over again. It doesn’t stop her from getting bored, though, so she attempts to come up with a backstory. Why are she and Emma running? What could be chasing them that would make them run three miles? What would-

_Fuck._

“Alyssa!” Emma comes rushing over, at some point during that last daydream the brunette had gotten ahead of her. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, just tripped on a root,” she mumbles, pushing herself up. As soon as she tries to put weight on her foot she squeaks, and Emma grabs her to steady her. “Okay, so maybe I’m less than okay.”

“No kidding,” Emma sighs. “Did you bring your phone? Mine’s up at the field in my bag.”

“So’s mine,” Alyssa groans.

“Okay, let’s think this through,” she sighs. “We’re already past the last turn, so there’s less than half a mile left. We can try to walk, and I’ll support your weight?”

“That kind of seems to be our only choice,” Alyssa leans on her. “Unless we want to wait for Barry to come and find us, but that could take forever.”

Emma nods and moves her arm so she can more comfortably support the brunette. Slowly but surely they make their way to the opening where they had started, where Barry is sitting in his car, just as he had promised. “What happened?” he jumps out of his seat, rushing towards the girl. 

“I tripped,” Alyssa sighs, as she is transferred from Emma to Barry.

“Let’s get up to the trainers,” he sighs, helping her into the backseat. “Emma, you coming?”

She nods and climbs into the front seat, and Barry drives them up to the trainer’s office. Emma helps her out and practically carries her into the office, and the trainer looks concerned as soon as they walk in. “What’s wrong?” 

“She fell and hurt her ankle,” Barry sighs, and the young woman begins to look at her. “God, Kassi, please just tell me it isn’t broken.”

“It’s not broken,” Kassi promises, putting some pressure on her ankle and watching as Alyssa winces. “I think it’s sprained, but not too badly. It’s only a grade one.”

“What about our opener?” Alyssa says, her eyes darting between her coach and her trainer. “We only have like three weeks before we start playing.”

“You’re going to be fine in three weeks,” she reassures, which seems to calm Alyssa’s nerves immediately. “If you take it easy for the next week. I mean no soccer, no practice, I don’t even want you to take a touch. I’m gonna give you crutches.”

Alyssa’s face falls, but she feels Emma rub her back and suddenly she’s okay again. “But I’ll be ready for the home opener?”

“Yes,” Kassi smiles. “Let me get those crutches for you.”

Once she’s given her the crutches, Emma holds the door open as the two of them walk back towards Barry’s car. Their coach drives them back to the field to get their stuff, and then to the student parking lot to get their cars. “Can you drive me home?” Alyssa asks. “We can still study, but this was kinda my driving foot.”

“Yeah, no problem,” Emma smiles. “I can come to pick you up in the morning if you want too.”

“Or you could sleep over again?” Alyssa says hopefully. “If you want, I mean. You don’t have to, I don’t wanna force you to or anything, I’m probably being really annoying and I-”

“Hey,” Emma rests her hand on top of Alyssa’s as they sit next to each other in Emma’s truck. “I can sleep over if you want, but we might wanna run by my house first. I need to grab some clothes.”

Alyssa nods, practically melting as Emma smiles at her. They drive past Alyssa’s house and into Emma’s neighborhood, which is further out in the country. In fact, one really couldn’t call it a neighborhood, it was more just a few houses between farmland. “Do you own a farm?” Alyssa wonders out loud as they pull into her driveway.

“Nah, but we’re probably the only house for miles that doesn’t. We’ve lived here forever cause it’s peaceful, and Dad says nobody bothers you when you live out here.”

_”What’re you crying for? Nobody’ll call the police out here, no one can hear you but the fucking cows!”_

“That must be nice,” Alyssa smiles. “Do you want me to come in or should I just stay here?”

Emma thinks it over for a second. If Alyssa came in with her, there was a better chance that her parents wouldn’t scream at her because it could threaten their reputation. “You can come inside if you want. It’s not much, fair warning.”

“Like I care,” Alyssa grins at her, grabbing her crutches and walking through the door with Emma.

“Hey kiddo,” her dad smiles at the two of them as they enter the living room. “Who’s your friend?”

“Dad, this is Alyssa,” she introduces, and Alyssa smiles at the man. 

“I’d shake your hand but I think I might lose my balance,” she laughs a little, and so does he. “I’m still learning how to use these things.”

“Here, sit down,” he motions towards the other end of the couch. “Em, are you staying here tonight or going out?”

“I was gonna stay with Alyssa if that’s okay?” she pauses as she reaches the door to the hallway. “We have a bunch of tests tomorrow, and we were gonna study. Plus, she’s closer to the school.”

“That’s fine, your mom went out for the night anyway, so I was just gonna head to the bar tonight.”

“Sounds good,” Emma ducks into her room, trying to get her clothes for the next day as quickly as possible. She doesn’t want to leave Alyssa in there with her dad for too long. She didn’t think he would do anything to her, but there was no telling the things he would tell her, the lies he might make up.

When she gets back to the living room Alyssa is laughing with her dad like they’re old friends. “You ready to head out?” she says nearly as soon as Emma enters the room, and Emma smiles gratefully.

“I’m ready if you are.” Translation: Emma wanted to get out of that house as soon as humanly possible.

The girls climb back into the truck, and Emma throws her bag into the backseat. “He seemed nice,” Alyssa smiles a little. “But I know how parents are. You bring someone home and they’re a completely different person.”

“Yeah,” Emma sighs as they pull out of the driveway. “Do you want to go get a snack or anything before we head home to study? Kaylee said something about them hanging out in the parking lot at Sprint or something.”

“I hate that place,” Alyssa shudders. “It smells like cigarettes all the time, and that’s just an excuse for them to get drunk where their parents won’t go looking for them.”

“Oh.”

“We had fight night a couple of nights ago,” Alyssa laughs a little. “The boys made a ring out of their trucks, and we used the beds as the stands. Anyone who had an issue with anyone had their chance in the ring, we even had one kid go to the hospital! None of the girls did it though, which was kinda disappointing, it would’ve been cool to see some of the girls swinging at each other. Nick says that girls have drama, and they have fight night.”

“I think I’d rather have fight night,” Emma laughs as well. “So you don’t wanna run by Sprint to get a snack?”

“Well, okay,” the brunette agrees. “We can get some food, but I really don’t want to stick around while Shelby and Kaylee get drunk as hell.”

Emma nods, and soon they’re pulling into the parking lot. Shelby, Kaylee, Nick, and Kevin are all sitting in the back of someone’s truck, laughing as they drink out of glass bottles. “Emma!” Kaylee says, over-enthusiastic as she leans over the side of the bed. “I didn’t think you’d show up!”

“I won’t be here for long,” she laughs, shutting her own door behind her. “We’re just grabbing some food before we head out to study.”

“You’re no fun!” Kaylee turns towards Alyssa while taking another swig of her beer. “And don’t say that she didn’t want to stay because I know you talked her out of it.”

Alyssa rolls her eyes. “How are you guys getting home?”

“I got them,” Shelby pipes up. “I haven’t had anything to drink, promise. What happened with your ankle?”

“Sprained it,” she sighs, climbing out with her crutches. “But I’ll be fine before we play our first game.”

“Good,” Shelby sighs, sipping the Coke that she had in her hands. “We’re screwed if we don’t have you.”

Alyssa nods, and she stops the conversation as she and Emma begin to walk into the convenience store. Emma grabs some chips and a sweet tea, while Alyssa grabs Oreos and a yellow Powerade. Once they head back out there are more cars in the parking lot, including a few of their teammates. “You want to stay, don’t you?” Alyssa sighs as they walk towards the truck.

“Just for a little while?”

“Okay,” she immediately gives in. “But Mom wants us home for dinner.”

“Deal,” Emma grins, pulling down the tailgate of her truck.

She puts both of their bags into the back before climbing up, then easily lifting Alyssa into it with her. “Whoa,” she breathes as Emma sets her down. “You’re so strong.”

“Oh yeah,” Emma laughs nervously, scratching the back of her neck. “I just work out a lot. There’s nothing to do when you’re alone most of the time.”

“Well, I promise you won’t be spending much time alone now that you’re here,” Alyssa grins, turning towards the truck now on the other side of them. “Hey Alex! Hey Fei!” she grins as they climb into Alex’s tailgate.

“Who’s that?” Emma turns to face them, and both of the kids smile at her.

“Emma, have you met Alex yet?” Fei asks, climbing so that she’s sitting on the side of the tailgate, facing Emma and Alyssa. 

“Maybe?” she laughs a little at herself. “I’m sorry, I’m not good at names and faces.”

“It’s alright, neither am I,” he climbs next to Fei, reaching over to shake her hand. “I think we have English together, actually. Third period with Andrews?”

“Yes!” she grins, and Alyssa smiles at the two of them interacting.

“Alex is my best friend,” Fei grins, throwing her arm around him. “He’s the only guy I know who actually knows how to listen.”

Alex chuckles a little, taking a handful of M&M’s from her and sipping on a Sprite. “That’s because you never stop talking, and I don’t know how to escape.”

Fei rolls her eyes, and Emma giggles, a real giggle that Alyssa had never heard before. This is when she realizes that she isn’t staring at Alex, and she really doesn’t want to be here anymore. It doesn’t take long for Emma to notice that Alyssa has gone quiet, nibbling on her Oreos while scrolling through her phone. “You alright?” she climbs off of the side, sliding down next to Alyssa. 

“I don’t feel well,” she sighs, leaning on Emma’s arm.

“You want to go home?” 

“Kind of.”

“Okay,” she smiles softly, ruffling her hair a little. “Let me help you down.”

Once they’ve said goodbye they climb into Emma’s truck, heading towards Alyssa’s house. When they get there Mrs. Greene greets them, immediately questioning the crutches and the exhausted look in Alyssa’s eyes. “I sprained my ankle, but I’ll be fine by our first game,” she’s tired of telling everyone this. “We’re going to go study.”

“Don’t get snappy with me young lady,” Mrs. Greene warns, and it’s the closest she’s gotten to getting angry since Emma had been there. “Emma, darling, do you like spaghetti?”

“Yes ma’am,” she smiles politely.

“Perfect! That’s what we’re having tonight. I’ll call you girls as soon as it’s finished, but it’ll probably be around another hour.”

Both girls nod, making their way towards Alyssa’s room. Alyssa immediately collapses onto her bed, curling up as Emma pulls out her homework. “No, evil,” she hisses, pushing the bookbag off of the bed.

“‘Lys, I’ve gotta get this done,” she bends down to pick it up again. “Unless you want me to fail my English class and quit soccer.”

“No, no,” she sighs. “But can’t we talk for just a little bit?”

“Fine,” Emma sets it aside. “But after dinner, we have to actually do homework. Promise?”

“Promise.”

“What do you even want to talk about? What do girls talk about at sleepovers?”

“Normally we talk about boys, but I guess in your case we could talk about girls. If you want to, I mean.”

“I love talking about girls, they’re so pretty.”

Alyssa giggles a little. “You got your eye on anyone?”

“Well… maybe.”

“Spill!”

“She has the most beautiful eyes,” Emma sighs happily, her own eyes drifting back towards Alyssa. “And the way she smiles, it’s like she lights up the whole field. I think I stutter even when I’m just telling her that she did a good job at practice. I’m all tongue-tied and head over heels for her.”

“She sounds amazing,” Alyssa breathes. “Who is she?”

“Oh, uh, well-”

“You don’t have to tell me if you’re uncomfortable. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked that.”

“No, I want to! I just don’t want you to judge me.”

“I’ll never judge you.”

Alyssa feels the tension in the room melt away as Emma smiles nervously at her. She knows what’s happening, and she feels her heart begin to race as the blond grins. “Well, if you really want to know…”

She wants to know more than she ever wanted to know anything else. This is the beginning of their love story. This moment could be the one that changed both of their lives forever.

“It’s-”

_you_

“Fei.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fei and Emma have something to fight for, but Alex and Alyssa are the ones who do the fighting.

_Fei?_

Alyssa should have seen it coming. The way they would hold onto each other during practice, the soft smiles they passed during chemistry, even the way that they high fived after saves were obvious signs that she had missed. This was good, this meant that Emma would be happy. Why was Alyssa so jealous? She was straight after all.

Yet, her heart hurt.

“Alyssa?” Emma prompts, her eyes showing nothing but fear as she glances between the girl in front of her and the door, wondering if she’ll soon be walking out of it.

“That’s great Em,” she puts on a brave face, a fake smile that she had given her mother a thousand times before. “Are you gonna ask her out?”

“I don’t know,” she begins to ramble, falling onto her back and staring at the ceiling. “I don’t even know if she likes girls.”

“She does,” Alyssa says automatically.

“How do you know?”

_It felt like she was burning with the flames of a thousand suns. She had never had a fever like this one, and her mother was out of town. “Stay still,” Alex’s voice was nervous but firm as he dipped the washcloth back into the water. “You’re burning up ‘Lyssa.”_

_“Where is she?” Alyssa called out. All she wanted was her girl._

_“Right here,” another voice rings out, and Alyssa sits up, much to Alex’s dismay._

_“Your turn,” he grumbles, handing her the bowl. “I love you ‘Lyssa, but you may very well be the most difficult person I’ve ever taken care of.”_

_“That’s ‘cause you don’t have the magic touch,” Fei laughs, bending down to kiss the brunette’s forehead. “Oh baby, Al wasn’t kidding about that fever huh?”_

_Alyssa shakes her head, lying back down as Fei gently pushes her. Alex says his goodbyes to both of them while his best friend rubs the washcloth on Alyssa’s forehead. “Baby, why didn’t you tell me you were sick?”_

_“Didn’t want to bother you,” she mumbles, reaching out for her hand._

_Fei takes it and kisses it. “You never bother me.”_

“We’ve talked about it,” she lies.

“Oh,” Emma smiles a little. “That makes me feel a little better about it honestly.”

Alyssa fakes a smile again, pulling out her bookbag. “I guess we should get started on this, huh?”

“Yeah, I guess we should.”

Alyssa Greene doesn’t understand why she feels like she’s going to throw up. Sure, she had a fling with Fei back in the summer before junior year, but that was a long time ago. She didn’t love her anymore. She didn’t love girls anymore. Alyssa was straight.

But straight Alyssa Greene wanted to kiss gay Emma Nolan so fucking badly. 

…

“Do you want to get ready for the sleepover party at my house tonight?” Alyssa asks on Friday as they sit in their chemistry class. “We don’t have practice today so we could just head there right after school.”

“Sounds good,” Emma grins, a blush creeping up on her face as she locks eyes with someone else in the room. “Is it okay if I don’t sit with you guys at lunch today? Fei asked if I wanted to grab food since we’re allowed to leave.”

“Yeah, that’s fine,” she tries to hide the disappointment in her voice. “Where are y’all going?”

“I dunno, we’ll probably just pick up some food and eat in the Sprint parking lot.”

Alyssa nods, just as Fei gets up and walks over to their table. She doesn’t say a word, she just smiles mischievously as she drops a note in front of Emma, with her name beautifully scribbled in blue ink. _Can’t wait for our lunch date cutie ;)_

Emma’s face lights up bright red, and Alyssa feels like she’s going to be sick. “I’ll be right back,” she says before asking to be excused, hurrying out of the classroom.

She rushes into the bathroom, tears beginning to stream down her face. This was too much to handle today, and she just couldn’t take it anymore. As soon as she reaches the bathroom, however, she realizes that she isn’t alone. “What’re you doing in here?” Shelby asks, tears brimming at her own eyes. 

“Just got overwhelmed,” Alyssa responds, which isn’t technically a lie. 

“Same,” Shelby sniffles. “Hey Alyssa, you ever feel so strongly about someone that it hurts?”

“Yeah, actually,” she laughs bitterly. “I know that feeling pretty well.”

Shelby leans on the wall, tossing her head back so she can stare at the ceiling. “I feel like they’ll never like me back. It feels like I’m fooling myself with these feelings.”

“That hit on a spiritual level,” Alyssa sighs, leaning on the opposite wall so she can face her.

“And I’m too scared to tell them, or anyone else for that matter. Everyone would judge me if they know the truth Alyssa.”

“Same here.”

They stare at each other for a moment, a brief thought passing between both of them. _What if?_ But the thought passes as quickly as it came when Alyssa’s phone buzzes, pulling both of them out of their trance. It’s Alex. _Lunch in my truck today?_

_Hell yes_

“I should get back,” Shelby says suddenly, using the sleeves of her shirt to dab her eyes. “Don’t wanna get in trouble.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Alyssa’s back into a daze but follows Shelby out of the bathroom.

They part in the hallway, walking towards classrooms on opposite ends of it. Fei has taken her spot at her table when she walks back in, talking and laughing with Emma. She should have known this would happen, having a substitute meant that the kids could switch around with no consequences. Alyssa sat down in Fei’s seat, next to Britt who was normally Fei’s partner for projects. “You think there’s something going on with them?” she asks as Alyssa sits down. “They’ve been staring at each other like the whole class period.”

“Maybe,” Alyssa sighs.

“I’m starting to think Fei isn’t the only one who has a thing for Emma,” Britt says pointedly.

“What are you talking about?”

“‘Lys, I’ve been in your class since we were five-years-old. I know that look in your eyes.”

“I’m straight.”

“Alyssa, you’ve had three summer flings since we were freshmen,” Britt counters. “Andy, Aya, and Fei! You can’t tell me you’re just experimenting when this happens every single summer.”

Alyssa glares at her, but she knows she’s right. Though she didn’t want to admit it, and every part of her was going against it, Alyssa Greene was not as straight as she thought. Britt passes her the worksheet they were supposed to be doing, and she sighs as she settles into her seat. It was going to be a long day.

When lunch finally came around, Emma could hardly contain herself as she walked towards Fei’s car. She was already sitting in it, grinning as the blond climbed in. “What’s the plan?” Emma asks.

“Well, we don’t have practice today,” Fei smiles mischievously. “What if we ditched for the rest of the day? We could go to a town over to get lunch, then drive around and hang out a little bit.”

Emma’s heart skips a beat as she feels Fei’s hand brush her own, already pulling out of the parking lot. “O-okay,” she stutters, a blush creeping up to her cheeks. 

“Yeah?” Fei grins as she puts the car into drive. “Sweet! There’s this little cafe the next town over if you’re cool with that? They’ve got really good food and coffee, I go there with my brother all the time.”

“Sounds good!” Emma smiles back at her, and Fei squeezes her hand resting on the middle console. 

“I have an aux chord if you wanna connect, I’m not picky about music.”

Emma nods, disappointed as she has to pull her hand away from Fei’s in order to plug in her phone. She begins blasting the music, and Fei grins as they pick up speed on the road. She puts her hand out for Emma to hold again, and both girls know that it’s going to be a good day.

Meanwhile, Alyssa walks out to Alex’s truck, parked right out front where he always is. “Hey kiddo,” he grins as she climbs into the front seat.

“I’m literally older than you,” Alyssa rolls her eyes as he begins to pull out of his parking space. 

“By like three days.”

“You’re the baby of this group,” she points out, skipping the song he currently had playing over the speakers. “Even Fei’s older than you.”

“By five minutes!” he pretends to act defensive, making Alyssa laugh. “Hey, there’s that smile I haven’t seen in forever. Where’s it been these past few weeks?”

“Nowhere.”

“Don’t lie to me.”

“Have you ever fallen in love with someone?”

“I guess, yeah.”

“I love her, Alex, as scary as it is to admit, but she’ll never love me. I’ve never felt the way I feel about her, and it scares me a little. I’m not good enough for her.”

“Alyssa Greene,” he scolds. “You are good enough. You could have anyone in this entire school if you wanted.”

“Except for her,” there are tears in her eyes now. “Alex you don’t understand. There is only one person I want, and it’s her.”

“I know,” he sighs. “But take a deep breath before you have another panic attack okay?”

“How did you know I was about to panic?”

“‘Lyssa, despite the fact that our freshman year relationship didn’t work out, I still figured you out pretty well. You can’t act like I don’t know you.”

“You’re my best friend,” she sniffles, and he smiles softly as the car comes to a stop sign.

“You’re my best friend too,” he turns into the Subway parking lot. “Now, let’s get some food before the lunch period ends.”

Alyssa wipes her eyes before they walk inside, and they come to find that they aren’t alone. There are several kids in uniform, and Alyssa recognizes them as the kids from Edgewater Prep. A couple of them glare at the two of them, but nothing too unusual happens. Alyssa was used to this, they were some of the snootiest kids in the small town.

One of them was staring at her for a long time, trying to figure her out. Alyssa felt uncomfortable, trying her best to hide behind Alex, who had also noticed the guy staring. He suddenly seemed to realize something, whispering to his friend before approaching them. “Hey, do you guys know Emma Nolan?”

“Yeah we do,” Alex says before Alyssa has a chance. “Why?”

“You know she’s a dike right?” now all of the E.P. kids are staring at them and snickering. 

“No one gives a shit,” Alex steps up now, fists clenched at his sides. “And get that word out of your vocabulary, you don’t need to use it.”

“You gonna fight me faggot?” the boy takes off his blazer, shoving it into one of his friend’s hands.

“If I have to, sure,” the blue-haired boy steps towards him, and Alyssa struggles to use her crutches to move up beside him. “‘Lyssa, no.”

“If you’re fighting, so am I,” she says seriously, despite the fact that both of her hands were still attached to the crutches by her side.

“Aw cute,” another one of the boys steps up. “You her girlfriend or something?”

“No,” she stands as tall as she can. “But what if I was? What are _you_ going to do about it?”

It takes him barely a second to react. He kicks one of her crutches, making her unbalanced and forcing her to the ground. “Oh fuck you,” Alex’s fist connects with his cheek, and suddenly all of the boys jump on him, taking him to the ground.

This continues for all of two minutes before an employee breaks them up, screaming at them to get out. The Edgewater Prep kids all file out, mumbling under their breath about how Alex and Alyssa started it. Alex stays behind for a second to help Alyssa up, who he just then realizes is crying. “What happened?” he squats down next to her. 

“Fucking ankle,” she breathes, and Alex sees the employee glaring at them again.

“Let’s get you to the truck, then I’ll check you out,” he says softly, not wanting to be yelled at again.

He carefully helps her up, and she leans on the wall while he grabs her crutches. She takes them from him, but even as she tries to walk with them he can tell she’s in pain. When they get to the truck he doesn’t let her climb up on her own, though she didn’t think she could if she tried anyways. Instead, he hoists her into her seat, then begins looking at her ankle. “It’s not too swollen,” he smiles a little. “Why don’t we head back to my house and get you some ice?”

“Okay,” her voice is barely above a whisper as she speaks, tears still stinging at the corners of her eyes.

“‘Lyssa,” he sighs, pulling her into a hug. “I know, I know. I’m sorry they were assholes.”

“She doesn’t deserve that,” Alyssa sniffles. “Is that what she went through every day?”

“I guess,” he sighs, pulling away. “C’mon, let’s get you home.”

As he gets into his own seat, Alyssa notices the bruise forming on his knuckles. “Alex, your hand.”

“Yeah, I’ll ice that too,” he sighs. “Don’t worry, I’m okay I promise. I’m more concerned about you.”

“Alex, you’re the one who got the shit beaten out of you.”

“Yeah, but that isn’t the first time for me,” he sighs. “I remember my first fight, and I know how scary it was.”

They pull into his house, and he gets out to help her. “I can use my crutches,” she jokes when he puts his arm around her.

“Sorry,” he moves away. 

“No, wait,” she begins to reach out to him, dropping one of her crutches in the process. “Fuck.”

He laughs a little, picking it up to hand it to her. “You’re a mess ‘Lyssa.”

“Tell me something I don’t know,” she laughs with him.

They walk inside, where their golden retriever, Bandit, greets them. “Hey bud,” Alex smiles, petting his head. “Hey, why don’t you go sit on the couch, and I’ll get some ice bags ready?”

Alyssa nods, sitting down as Bandit rests his head in her lap. When Alex returns, he grabs a pillow to put under her ankle and then lays the ice on it, apologizing as Alyssa winces. “I know it’s cold,” he sighs. “Do you wanna watch something on Netflix?”

“ _One Day at a Time_?” she asks hopefully.

“You know me so well,” he grins, handing her the remote. “You pull it up, I’m gonna call Fei for a second to see where she’s at.”

“Shouldn’t they be at school now?”

Alex laughs a little. “You’ve met Fei, right?”

Alyssa laughs with him, as he walks out of the room. She grabs the blanket on the back of the couch and snuggles with a pillow as she pulls up her favorite t.v. show, sighing contently. Everything was going to be okay.

“My brother’s calling me,” Fei rolls her eyes as Emma bites into her sandwich. “Hey, what’s up?”

“Where are you and Em?”

“At school,” she says sarcastically, causing Emma to giggle a little across from her.

“We both know that’s not true.”

“We went up to the Coffee House. Why?” Fei steals a fry from Emma’s plate.

“Alyssa and I got into a fight.”

“ _What?_ ” she nearly chokes on her food. “What do you mean you got into a fight?”

“There were some E.P. kids at the Subway we went to for lunch. They started calling Emma some names, and I got pissed off. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, are you okay?”

“I’m fine, just a little bruised up. Alyssa might’ve messed up her ankle more though.”

“Fuck,” Fei sighs, resting her head on her hand. “Do I need to come home?”

“No, I think I have it handled. Just be careful when you get back into town, I don’t want them to get you or something.”

“I will be, can you ask ‘Lyssa if the party’s still happening tonight?”

“It is, she just needs some help setting up. Do you think you two could come back in like an hour to help?”

“No doubt! I’ll see you then?”

“See you then,” Alex hangs up the phone, and Fei turns back to her date.

“Alyssa and Alex got into a fight and ‘Lyssa might’ve fucked up her ankle more. She’s not in too much pain or anything, but she needs some help setting up in a bit.”

“Oh shit,” Emma bites into her sandwich. “Who’d they get into a fight with?”

“Some assholes at Subway,” Fei says, being careful not to mention the name of Emma’s old school. She didn’t know how she would react if she knew that the same people who had been tormenting her had found their way to Alyssa.

“Fuck that,” Emma sighs, standing up, grabbing the check from the table.

“Whoa whoa,” Fei takes it from her. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“To pay for our food?”

“Nonsense, I asked you on the date, I’ll pay.”

“No way! You drove here and everything, let me pay!”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“You know what, I have something that’ll change your mind.”

“What?”

Fei leans in softly, connecting her lips with Emma’s. As she does so, she snags the check from her hands, and she’s already making her way to the counter before her date can say anything more. “I win,” Fei winks.

“Whoa,” Emma breathes, and Fei giggles as she reaches out her hand.

“C’mon babe, you can pay for dessert,” she winks again, giving the cashier her card. “You’re cute when you blush.”

Emma smiles a little, and Fei pulls her close. Everything is right with the world.

_For now._


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sleepovers can be great but also turn sour pretty quickly tw for car crash, drinking

“Where are they?” Alex sighs, glancing at his watch again. “Fei said they were gonna be here half an hour ago.”

“Neither of them are answering their phones,” Alyssa says anxiously. “Do you think something happened?”

“Doubt it,” Alex throws some of the pillows onto the floor next to the blankets they had already set out. “My best guess is that Fei pulled some shit and they’ve lost track of time.”

It was almost terrifying how accurate that was, but that’s what happens when you’ve spent your whole life with your twin. Fei and Emma were pulled over in a parking lot as the other two set up, eating the ice cream they had gotten from Dairy Queen. “I can’t believe you’re a cotton candy blizzard person,” Fei shakes her head. “Nothing can ever top Oreo.”

“Oreo’s boring,” Emma teases.

Fei gasps, putting a hand over her chest. “You take that back!”

“Make me,” Emma winks, and Fei presses her lips to the blond’s. “Wow, you’re good at this.”

“Someone call the DQ headquarters, cause I think I just discovered my new favorite flavor,” Fei says softly, before kissing Emma once more. “Cotton candy Oreo is a good mix.”

“Hell yeah,” Emma smirks.

Fei glances at the clock in front of them before suddenly sitting up. “Fuck,” she grabs her bag and pulls out her phone, which has over ten missed calls from Alex and Alyssa. “We were supposed to be home half an hour ago.”

“Oh god,” Emma gets her own phone out and finds that it has the same number of notifications. 

“We better get going. Text ‘Lyssa we’re on our way?” Fei begins to pull out of her parking space, the flirting and Blizzards are temporarily forgotten.

“Emma says they’re on their way,” Alyssa rolls her eyes, making her way over to where Alex is setting up food. 

“Okay, well you need to sit down and rest that ankle,” Alex says, smiling a little at her. “I promise, I got the rest of this covered.”

“I seriously owe you one.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

Alyssa smiles gratefully at him, before sitting back down on the couch. After a few minutes, Alex comes to sit next to her, and she leans her head on his shoulder. “What’s wrong ‘Lyssa?”

She wants to tell him. She wants to scream that his twin sister has taken the love of her life and there is nothing more than she wants than to have her back. Alyssa wants to scream that she _loves_ Emma Nolan more than she ever could have imagined possible. 

There’s a knock at the door suddenly, and Alyssa sits up. There’s no time to answer Ale’s question now. “It’s open!”

Andy and Aya walk inside, pillows and blankets in hand. “It’s fucking varsity sleepover time!” Andy yells, throwing all of her stuff onto the ground. “I’ve claimed my spot now.”

“Hey guys,” Alyssa smiles, wincing as she pushes herself up.

“What the hell happened to you?” Andy grabs her shoulders to steady her, letting Aya grab her crutches. “I thought you had a minor sprain.”

“I may have made it worse,” she admits sheepishly, scratching the back of her neck before taking her crutches from the younger girl. “Aya you can set your stuff down wherever I know it’s your first sleepover but we’re pretty chill about where everyone stays.”

The door opens again, and Fei and Emma walk in. “We’re so sorry,” Fei starts immediately. “We lost track of time and got distracted and-”

“Save it,” Alex rolls his eyes. “We’re all set up, so it’s a little late for this.”

“Stay out of this,” Fei glares at her brother. 

“No,” he steps up to her, which makes her shrink back. “Were you here when some homophobic assholes were picking on Alyssa? Were you the one standing up for Emma in the Subway? You didn’t have to deal with shitty E.P. people calling someone you care about a faggot.”

“They were E.P. people?” Emma asks, her voice wavering. Alex breaks his stare-off with Fei to look at her, and she kind of looks as if she’s going to faint. “Holy shit.”

“Sit down,” Andy basically orders, taking control of the situation, grabbing Emma’s shoulders to guide her to a chair. “Take a deep breath for me.”

The blond takes a shaky breath, before Fei sits down next to her, letting her lean on her. “Holy shit Em, you’re burning up,” she lays a hand on her forehead when she feels the heat coming off of her. 

Alyssa was already on top of that, asking Alex to grab a cold washcloth since she couldn’t herself. The brunette sits on the other side of her, running the washcloth over her face before resting it on the back of her neck. Emma sits up for a minute, looking disoriented, but then falls into Alyssa’s open arms. “Hey,” she says softly, running her hand through her hair. “You’re alright, they’re not here. You’re safe Emma.”

“They hurt you,” she chokes on a sob, and Alyssa pauses for a minute.

“We’re going to be okay.”

Alex glances at his twin sister, who is staring at Emma with such love that it’s nearly overwhelming to watch. However, there is another thing in her eyes that he can’t ignore. _Jealousy._

“Feeling better?” Alyssa asks as Emma sits up again, and she nods. “Good, let me get you some water.”

“I’ll get it,” Alex offers, standing up. “I probably need to get going afterward though.”

“You don’t have to!” Andy protests. “You never hang out with us anymore.”

“I know,” he smiles a little as he hands Emma the water. “But this is a team thing. Besides, I promised Grey I’d take him out to the movies tonight, and I don’t wanna let him down.”

“You’re just trying to become his favorite sibling,” Fei rolls her eyes, but she’s smiling.

“Obviously,” he laughs. “Don’t do anything dumb while I’m gone.”

“Us? Doing dumb things? When has that ever happened?” Aya jokes, making Alex laugh again.

“I’ll see you guys tomorrow,” he calls, walking out the door.

Nearly as soon as Alex leaves, more people start showing up. Aimee’s the first one there, followed quickly by the Tuttles, Syd, Sig, and Britt. The Sablone twins Maddie and Dani are the next ones through the door, already laughing so loudly that it immediately brings a smile to Alyssa’s face. Veronica, the only freshman on the team, and her senior sister Kaitlin finally show up around five minutes later, and afterward Syd G. and Call walk through the door. Finally, Emma and Lizzie, the Whittles, make their way into the Greene household. 

“Where are Shelby and Kaylee?” Sig asks, hanging upside down on the couch. 

“Bringing stuff,” Fei grins, not looking away from her phone. “They’ll be here soon.”

Alyssa isn’t a fan of the fact that Fei knows what’s going on with her best friends better than she does, but she doesn’t comment on it. Shelby and Kaylee show up a few minutes later with brown paper bags tucked into their backpacks, smiling as if they had already had some experience with what was inside of them. “Let the party begin,” Kaylee smiles, pulling out one of the bottles and handing it to Fei. “When’s your mom getting home?”

“Tomorrow at noon,” Alyssa sighs. “I thought we said we weren’t doing alcohol this year.”

“Changed our minds,” Shelby shrugs, pulling out her own bottle. “Now, where are the shot glasses?”

The night doesn’t seem like it’ll get out of hand at first, it’s just nineteen teammates getting slightly tipsy and making horrible jokes while they lounge around the living room. Aya and Veronica bicker back and forth about who knows what, Emma W. lays on top of Shelby while they sing awful karaoke, and the rest of the seniors talk about the dumb hazing methods their seniors had put them through their first year of varsity. 

When the song changes, Dani gets an awful look in their eyes as they glance towards Alyssa, who immediately looks concerned. “What?”

Dani smirks, waiting for the chorus of the song, before beginning to sing. “‘Lyssa’s mom has got it going on, she’s all that I want and I’ve waited for so long!”

“Oh my god,” Alyssa cringes. “Dani I swear I’m gonna throw myself out the window.”

“Do a flip!” they laugh, before continuing. “‘Lyssa can’t you see you’re just not the girl for me! I know it might be wrong but I’m in love with ‘Lyssa’s mom!”

Alyssa finally gives in and laughs, and Dani scoots closer to her, letting her lean on their shoulder. “What’s on your mind ‘Lyssa?”

“Little headache,” she mumbles, softly closing her eyes as she curls up beside them. 

“How’s your ankle?” they ask, carefully putting an arm around her in order to pull her closer. 

“Hurts,” Alyssa barely whispers, and Dani watches as she winces as someone turns the music up. 

“Hey, let’s go to your room until your head feels a little better. It’ll be quieter there.”

Alyssa nods, and Dani helps her up before simply pulling her into their arms. “Whoa, you’re strong,” she mumbles, resting her head on Dani’s shoulder.

“I work out a lot,” they chuckle as they carry her back to her room. “You wanna lay down?”

Since she nods again, Dani carefully lays her down, tucking stray hair behind her ears before covering her with a soft blanket. Alyssa can’t remember the last time she felt this cared for, or the last time someone run their hand through her hair as carefully as Dani did. She scoots over a little on her bed, looking up at Dani with a bit of a pleading look. They get the hint, climbing into her bed and continuing to run their fingers through her dark curls. “You feeling alright?” they ask as she cuddles close to them.

“Just really tired,” she sighs, and Dani smiles softly. 

“Well go to sleep then silly,” they boop her nose. “I’ll stay right here with you.”

“You don’t have to, I don’t want to ruin your fun or-”

“It’s okay,” Dani hushes her. “I promise.”

Alyssa smiles softly, and Dani relaxes as her breathing begins to even out. Once they know that she’s asleep, they quietly slip out of the room and back into the living room, where none of their teammates had noticed their absence. Dani joins Britt and Kaitlin on the floor, who are talking about adding something to their handshake they had been doing since freshman year. It always got more elaborate as the years went on.

When Alyssa hops out of her room a few minutes later, carefully clinging to the wall since she didn’t have her crutches, Dani jumps up to help her, picking her up and carrying her over to where she had set up her spot on the floor. “You want anything to drink or eat?” they ask, playing with her hair. 

“I should be asking you that,” she laughs a little, but Dani just smiles.

“It’s okay. But seriously, do you want anything?”

“Water? I can get up and get it if you just give me my crutches.”

“No, let me,” Dani pushes themselves up, then walks into the kitchen to get a drink.

When Dani gets back, they see that Emma is sitting next to Alyssa now, and they’re talking about something that’s making them both laugh. They sit on the other side of Alyssa, who immediately leans on them. The conversation dies out, and eventually Fei joins them to start a new one.

So things don’t get out of hand until around ten o’clock. Alyssa and a few of the others are ready to go to sleep, and since she’s hosting most of the team agrees that they should get ready to as well. As everyone gets into their blankets and pillows, Kaylee notices that they’re missing someone. “Where’s Shelby?”

“I think she left to get snacks,” Syd G. shrugs, snuggling with their pillow. 

Emma leans her head on Fei’s chest, letting the older girl play with her hair. Dani finds themselves laying with their head in Alyssa’s lap, holding the brunette’s hand. “We need to put Emma into the discord!” Alyssa says suddenly, grabbing her phone with her free hand.

“The… the what?” Emma looks confused.

“We have a discord chat for the team!” Fei beams, pulling out her phone as well. “It’s really great. We have a couple of channels for talking about different soccer stuff, and some off-topic things. Oh, and our colors are all separated by positions.”

“Okay wait. Can’t other people find discords and get in them? How do y’all keep that from happening?” Emma asks as Alyssa scrolls through the chat, trying to show it to the blond.

“We don’t,” she shrugs. “One time like ten members of Avalanche High joined it, looking for our playbook and stuff. We don’t keep that kinda shit on here so it was fine in the end, but some of us got a little spooked.”

“Hey, that was after I had tweeted at them,” Andy laughs a little. “It was my freshman year, and we were about to go to the state championship against them. Our season was coming to a close, but a couple of them were on my club soccer team. They got mad ‘cause some girl got cut from their school so they didn’t make club, and none of us liked her anyways.”

“What happened?”

“They came on here and attacked us,” Britt sighs. “Sent a bunch of homophobic things, screamed about how that girl would always be their goalkeeper, etc. We hid in some channels we had for situations like that until some of the seniors came on and banned them.”

“That seems unnecessary,” Emma looks angry, so Fei carefully pulls her close to her chest. “One of their girls get cut and they just attack you guys for disliking her?”

“Yup,” Fei kisses the top of her head. “But don’t worry babe, we won’t let it happen again. We took a lot more precautions after that.”

“And if it does happen again,” Aya starts. “We’ll make sure you know so you can get out. A lot of us had to step back and log off for a little while. Coach Glickman has us   
all in a normal text group chat anyways for important announcements. We really just use the discord for social things.”

Emma nods, and Fei takes her phone to set it up. When she hands it back, she starts looking at all of the nicknames in the chat. “Oh yeah, you can pick out a nickname too. None of us really use our real name,” Syd laughs.

_”Who the hell is Vore God?”_

“Hey, you found me!” Lizzie grins, throwing a piece of popcorn into the air and catching it.

“Drizzly bear?”

“That’s me, babe,” Fei pecks her lips. “I’ll explain it later.”

“Why are there so many vegetables? Is that _Veggie Tales_?”

“I’m Bob!” Andy grins. “And that’s the Veggie Squad. We’re great.”

“No, they’re not,” Britt rolls her eyes, which makes Andy throw popcorn at her.

“Join us Emma,” Aya jokes, which causes her to get popcorn thrown at her by Fei.

“Do not,” she warns, kissing the top of her head. When the blond doesn’t have a snarky comeback, she frowns. “Everything alright baby?”

“I’m getting sleepy,” she mumbles, nestling her head into the crook of Fei’s neck. 

“Then go to sleep sweetie,” she combs her fingers through her hair, then lets them trail down to rub her back. “You had a long day.”

“You can say that again,” Dani smirks, which gets a pillow thrown at them.

As Dani goes to lie down, they find Alyssa curling up next to them, so they wrap an arm around her. “How’re you feeling honey?”

“Exhausted,” she chuckles, and Dani pulls her closer. “Are you okay?”

“I’m good,” Dani smiles softly. “Actually, I’m better than okay.”

“Good,” Alyssa smiles back.

“Good.”

…

Barry Glickman was known for having the worst timing for texts. One time he told the girls they needed their red jerseys instead of white only ten minutes before they were supposed to be at the field to warm up. He was always late finding things out, and he always put texting the girls off until the last minute.

So it was kind of startling when all of their phones went off at four a.m.

The only one who woke up was Aya, who rubs her bleary eyes and holds herself up on her elbow, moving to turn off her phone. She sees the message just before she can turn it off, and it makes her shoot up and shake Andy awake. “Coach Glickman just texted,” she whispers harshly.

Andy groans as she wakes up, the resulting headache from the night before becoming evident. “He can wait.”

“No, he can’t.”

Andy’s up now, reading the text that Aya is shoving into her face. “Holy fuck!” she yells, which wakes up a few members of the team. “Guys get the hell up!”

Her last yell rouses Alyssa, who wakes up Dani before reaching for her phone. “Coach G says we have a team meeting right now. Everybody up! Throw on shorts and a tee, something’s obviously wrong!”

“Has anyone texted Shelby?” Emma calls out. “Just to make sure she got the text.”

“I called her but she isn’t answering,” Kaylee calls back as she puts her shirt on. “Let’s just get going and hope she got the text.”

They climb into different cars, Dani and Alyssa getting into the backseat of Fei’s, with Emma riding shotgun. They’re nearly to the school when Fei pulls over, a sickening sight unfolding in front of all of them. Shelby’s car was smashed against the live oak sitting in front of their school.

Her car was totaled, part of the tree had gone through the windshield, and Shelby was sat in the front seat, not moving or breathing as far as they could tell. There were ambulances and fire trucks on the scene, attempting to get her out of the car without injuring her further. All four of the teammates are awestruck, unable to move or think as they stare at the scene. Eventually, Fei manages to drive them into the parking lot, and their bodies seem to operate on autopilot as they walk into the gym.

Dani has to hold Alyssa as they sit in the gym, and Emma finds herself in Fei’s arms. Barry was pacing back and forth in the gym, eyes trained on his shoes as he goes back and forth. “How many of you were drinking last night?” he asks, finally stopping and staring at the girls. 

When none of them answer, he grabs Aya’s arm and pulls her up. “Aya, you won’t lie to me. How many of you were drinking last night?”

“All of us,” she mumbles honestly, and he sighs.

“Sit down,” he lets go of her. “Did none of you notice when she was gone? Did no one think to ask where she was?”

“She told us she was going to get snacks,” Syd pipes up.

“And you thought that was okay?” he snaps. “She had been drinking and you let her out of your sight! You let her drive away!” None of the team says anything, so he continues. “I want all of you here later today at two p.m. Bring your sneakers. You’re dismissed.”

Alyssa Greene had been on a team for Barry Glickman for four years, and she had never heard him sound like this. She had heard this man angry, scared, screaming, but never like this. He wasn’t going to scream at them the way he would when they had played like shit. He wasn’t going to cry the way he did when they lost their playoff game in her freshman year. He wasn’t mad at them.

_He was just disappointed._


End file.
